SMART READERS EXPECT SMART MISTAKES IN THEIR NEWSPAPER

That mistakes in Kenyan newspapers come in high frequency, is hardly debatable. Even a committed media critic can drift towards apathy. But then a gem of a howler vigorously awakens the need to deconstruct and dish out some disgust discourse. If a paper's target is smart readers, then it better confine itself to smart mistakes.

The above story, appearing in a national paper, ranks among the worst articles I have ever had the (dis)pleasure of analysing. Right from the crafting of the headline, some not so well-meaning force seems to yearn for a fist to face encounter with the sub/revise-editor.

"Kibwana tells Makueni diaspora investment"...what?....to do what?.....what?......TO DO WHAT? Suspense is good, but not when it borders the bizarre.

And just what entity is 'Makueni diaspora investment' anyway? Maybe there's clarification within the body of the story. Maybe not!

The all important first paragraph takes the confusion to dizzying heights. There's truly an exceptional effort to annihilate the English language, if it's not a deliberate act of editorial sabotage.

Governor Kivutha Kibwana has told on Saturday met Makueni residents in the disapora to invest back home. 

That such gibberish got published, is a wonder to behold. So Kibwana, it has been established, is a Governor. Everyone knows of which county, right? And there's more serving of literary disasters.

Kibwana was addressing the residents in in New Jersey, US on Saturday.

In the same illogical pattern, does the double 'in' translate to an 'out'?

No doubt I'm out now, on the double!