I don't regret to announce the death of Kenyan politics. For over four decades, Kenyan politics has caused misery to ordinary Kenyans and fully deserves its demise.
The departed had been around for far too long. Some of its political power was inherited from its father, brother, sister, husband, uncle, cousin and even neighbour.
While at other times it perfected the art of political metamorphosis, which involved moving back and forth from the opposition to the government and from one political outfit to another but still retaining their selfish interest and opportunistic tags.
After successfully looting from taxpayers, while working in the public sector, some would be members of Kenyan politics sought protection from future prosecution by running for legislative seats, and later masquerading as Honourable Members of Parliament.
Eulogy of Kenyan politics
Their forbearers had laid down these elaborate systems of raiding public coffers, allocation of government land and other state resources, all in the name of serving the public.
Kenyan politics accumulated immense wealth that over the years, which it has been using to influence voters to keep it in vantage grabbing positions.
And to secure its future, powerful members of Kenyan politics formed joint business ventures using ill-gotten riches, and used plum government positions to win lucrative tenders, often inflated many times over to maximize profits.
The late Kenyan politics would routinely allocate itself huge swathes of protected forestland at throwaway prices. It afterwards would sometimes sell them to unsuspecting third parties, who would then bear the losses, when subsequent regimes would want to repossess the forest land.
At other times it would use its evil wisdom to secure valid title deeds to cover the illegal allocations and use them to demand millions of shillings as compensation for returning forestland back to the forest.
Funeral arrangements for Kenyan politics
Friends and relatives are already holding regular meetings to map out strategies of securing votes in the 2012 General Election, even before the burial of Kenyan politics.
All progressive and visionary Kenyans are being asked to seriously consider new and alternative leadership, as the country moans and applauds the death of Kenyan politics.
The remains of Kenyan politics will be interred in the dustbin of insignificant history.
May the ghosts of post election violence continue to haunt and torment it in eternal damnation.